01/27/10 room, evening- when it was almost 1:30 I went over to the building where the tea ceremony class is held. It is in a traditional style room with tatami mats and sliding doors. While waiting for class to begin I started talking to a British girl named Georgia. She’s engaged. She showed me her ring. I hate rings. I don’t wear jewelry (except for earrings and only out of force of habit). Rings are the worst though; they annoy me to no end and I don’t like a hard piece of metal on my finger that rubs and bumps against my knuckle. As stated in a previous entry, I have a neurosis when it comes to my hands. Georgia said the ring was only temporary until she and her fiancé could have a watch made. “I’ve never heard of an engagement watch or a watch wedding band before,” I said. She said she hadn’t either until a friend of hers who is Japanese told her about the one she had made. This got me thinking about a few things. First of all, I LOVE it when people step outside the norm for once. So I was silently like, “Yeah, don’t be a sheep!!” I also cheered this idea because while a ring is useless, a watch is functional! I love it when culture meets innovation!
Then it reminded me of the fact that I used to wear a watch until its band broke at the beginning of last semester at the U of R. I was crestfallen and a little concerned over this. I compulsively check the time about a million times a day. Or I used to. I have been constantly left frustrated wondering what time it is since that fateful day. I still sometimes put my hand on my sleeve poised to pull it back and check the time and then I remember I don’t have it on anymore. It still feels like it’s on my wrist sometimes, like phantom limb or something. I loved my watch so much. It was my buddy that always told me the time, the date, and the day of the week. I had worn a watch virtually everyday since I was 14 or 15 and that one I had had for a few years. The band finally gave out leaving me watch-less and feeling as though I am missing something. Now you may be wondering a couple of things: why don’t I buy a new watch, OR why don’t I look at my cell phone to see the time like most people my age? The answer to those are: I can’t and I do. I can’t buy a new watch if I can use my cell phone for the purpose of checking the time. I have to justify a purchase, sort of reconcile it with myself before I allow myself to buy anything (food is the exception to this). Now you may be thinking, “Ok, so what’s the problem? You have a cell phone.” To which I answer, “IT’S NOT THE SAME!!!” :..( I have to dig my cell phone out of wherever it happens to be at the time. The most convenient place it ever is is in my pocket. So I have to free my hands, get it out, and push a button (or open it, my American phone I had to open, here the phone has a display on the outside of it), and then [here’s the kicker] put it back in my pocket. How many steps was that? It is at least 3 or 4 every time. I could check my watch wrist even if both hands were moderately occupied, in one swift motion. I am lazy I suppose. But, so help me, I miss my watch. {Another annoying thing about cell phones is you are not allowed to look at them during exams.}
The next thing I thought about when Georgia told me all the engagement watch stuff (yes, I am still on that topic) was watches with hands vs. digital watches. I had gotten rusty with reading face watches and clocks b/c my watch was digital. Now I am fast at reading them again. Something good came out of something negative. Something broke, and as a result something was restored. I guess it made me think about how loss can make you better.
Thinking about becoming better at reading clocks with hands reminded me of a friend who once chastised me for not being able to read a face clock very quickly. It was shortly after my watch broke last semester and we were walking back to our respective dorms, which were in the same direction. He suddenly asked what time it was. I looked up at the small clock tower we were walking past and said “It’s…sev-- eight, eight twenty… uh, about eight--” He said, “wow it’s 8:30 already.” I said, “yeah, I can’t read clocks with hands very well.” He scoffed and said I was so high tech. Which is something I absolutely am not but I let it go. Well I would like to think he’d be proud of me if he could see me now. I will scan an area for any available clock before I resort to dragging out my cell phone. And so I have become passably proficient at reading hand clocks again. When I was younger I could read them, then I got out of practice, then I learned how again. Learned, forgotten, re-learned.
When I first started talking to Georgia she mentioned that she was getting married right after college and immediately becoming a housewife. I didn’t know what to say really so I asked, “uh, so do you have the male picked out yet or…” And that’s when she showed me the ring and told me about the engagement watch. It only occurred to me afterwards that the socially proper thing to do in such a situation is to offer congratulations and then probably compliment the ring. I didn’t do either but instead we got to talking about engagement watches and how we both hate the feel of rings on our fingers. I hardly ever do the socially correct thing. I usually realize what I should have said after the moment has passed. But when she said she was becoming a housewife right after college I could only internally shrink back in mild horror at such a fate. I don’t judge her or anyone else who chooses this path. But that path is so scary for ME to even fathom. It is so completely alien to the way I think I had to remind myself that some people might actually want to do things I would never ever do. And being able to talk and laugh with those people, being able to find things you DO have in common, being able to respect them and like their charm and wit despite such a huge difference is what interacting with other human beings is all about. When I see her again in tea ceremony class I will try to remember to congratulate her. Not because I necessarily would want what she has, but because she is happy with her choice. “Congratulations on your happiness!” How hard would it be to say? [I could even say that in Japanese!! Shiawase ha omedeto gozaimasu! That may not be natural Japanese but it’s a literal translation. :P]
When the class got started, right off the bat Melinda san, who is very tall (pushing 6 feet I’d hazard to say), stood up too enthusiastically and banged into the wall panel behind her knocking it slightly ajar. It was quickly righted of course, but I couldn’t help but tease her for “Breaking the tea house again.” When the IES students went to the tea ceremony in Inuyama she banged into the wall panels more than once. Some of her Japanese friends call her “Gojira chan” as a joking reference to her height. Gojira is Godzilla in Japanese and chan is a friendly honorific. I sometimes call her it too. But no one laughs harder about all of that than Melinda herself so it’s alright.
Guess what? I’m going to talk about a watch again! I wonder if it’s wrong to subject you innocent readers to the inner workings of my chaotic mind… Oh well! ^_^ The instructor was wearing a beautiful kimono and it was magic to watch her make and serve the tea. Just then she pulled out a small gold watch with a thin gold chain from her obi (belt, or more like a sash tied around the waist) to check the time. I stared at this person wearing a traditional kimono, performing a traditional Japanese tea ceremony, in a room that could have been plucked out of the past, with a modern timepiece in her hand. They somehow went together perfectly. This is one of the super powers of the Japanese. They fuse traditional and modern seamlessly. They save all that is good from the past and welcome all that is good in the present. Next to this elegant instructor, the rest of us rag-tag western students looked almost laughable. No one else seemed to notice this. I notice things that others often do not. I used to always like that fact; was proud of it. But it’s kind of lonely too. What good are thoughts if you cannot share them with anyone? This journal helps me more than I realized it would. At least now, I can write down some of the many insignificant thoughts I have on a daily basis. It doesn’t feel as lonely anymore.
I greatly enjoyed the tea and of course the azuki mochi we got as our sweet. Azuki (red bean paste) and mochi (rice cake) combined is my favorite Japanese sweet so far. After class I went to the CJS building (Center for Japanese Studies). I checked my mail and ran into Doro san, Tana san, and Kyu san on the way. Found out Kyu took a nap and overslept the night before and so he missed the concert. I went to my locker that I was assigned for the first time just to see it. I found Jayla san there putting things in her locker. At first I had a hard time finding my locker. The way they were numbered was opposite of any logic or intuition I’ve ever heard of. I started calling for my locker to be silly, wanting to make Jayla laugh. I succeeded and I finally found it. She asked me what I had called it. I had been calling, “83! 83! Where are you Koibito?” I said it in Japanese and she asked what Koibito was. It means ‘lover’. Like I said I was trying to make her laugh. She asked me if I was going to name my locker and I said yes, “Koibito” is its name now. “But you know,” I said, “I only came to look at it. I really don’t know what to use it for.” She and all the other IES students know my appetite by now. With a smile she said, “Put food in it.” I thought that was a brilliant idea and told her so. I made up my mind to put some emergency reserve foods in it at my first opportunity. We talked for a little longer. She asked if I was taking tea ceremony (the only class where you get food as part of the curriculum). She knows me too well. I said yes and asked her what culture class she was taking. She is taking calligraphy, tea ceremony (the other time slot from mine), sumie (painting), and ikebana (flower arrangement). She really went for it with the cultural arts courses. Color me impressed. I told her that I was going to see my academic advisor about my history of tea ceremony class. She suggested adding another culture class if I was dropping that class since the culture classes are so easy. I said….oh well I just glanced at the clock and it’s shower time. I shall leave you with a cliffhanger for now. (20:32)
